I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize