Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize