haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
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i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize