Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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