I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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