If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
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Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
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The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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