yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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