The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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