Three words: puerto rican gang bang
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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