dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will pee on everything he values.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize