Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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