Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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