Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Farmville is her only friend.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
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