I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize