Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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