i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize