I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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