real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
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We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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