I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize