my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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