At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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