My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
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he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
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Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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