I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I need to calm my uterus...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize