My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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