Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  it was a shit show

  (917): View more from New York City

  We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.

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  (310): it was a shit show (917): We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet. http://tfl.nu/uvin
  Replies (3) Good night (960) Bad night (481)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.

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  (541): I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog. http://tfl.nu/ft4h
  Replies (53) Good night (3521) Bad night (735) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.

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  (609): My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well. http://tfl.nu/p8ga
  Replies (13) Good night (622) Bad night (2699) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.

  (903): View more from Texas

  That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.

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  (903): I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative. (903): That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame. http://tfl.nu/rh6l
  Replies (30) Good night (663) Bad night (3373)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.

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  (305): Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere. http://tfl.nu/rhba
  Replies (22) Good night (1122) Bad night (6529) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.

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  (717): My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential. http://tfl.nu/qhq9
  Replies (23) Good night (883) Bad night (4639) Order T-Shirt
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'

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  (219): she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs' http://tfl.nu/aa98
  Replies (38) Good night (1210) Bad night (17171) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.

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  (516): His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps. http://tfl.nu/q0ub
  Replies (12) Good night (7673) Bad night (890) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.

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  (617): We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well. http://tfl.nu/7kjf
  Replies (14) Good night (6070) Bad night (771) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?

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  (504): how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades? http://tfl.nu/s5wu
  Replies (79) Good night (15430) Bad night (2679) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.

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  (843): Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat. http://tfl.nu/tf28
  Replies (7) Good night (1262) Bad night (3394) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you

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  (519): I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you http://tfl.nu/mvu5
  Replies (6) Good night (2847) Bad night (824) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man

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  (727): the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere (1-727): it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man http://tfl.nu/dnxw
  Replies (6) Good night (3737) Bad night (680) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.

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  (816): The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud. http://tfl.nu/cdmp
  Replies (5) Good night (2591) Bad night (219)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"

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  (814): I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!" http://tfl.nu/71ex
  Replies (11) Good night (459) Bad night (168) Order T-Shirt

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