this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize