Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
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These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
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The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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