Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
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