I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize