i just wanna soil my oats bro
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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