and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize