Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize