he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
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She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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