You're so nebulous sometimes
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize