I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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