last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize