i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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