you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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