But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
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He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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