i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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