I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize