The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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