just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
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he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
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Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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