I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize