no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize