my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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