apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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