I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize