haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize