so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
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And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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